A few things I learned after dating a @$%@$!

By Zai of Take Charge Ladies

Breakups can be nasty. Trust me, I know. Here’s what I learned from mine:

 Separate, but together: It’s okay to have your own, separate goals and live them out separately, but together, as well. Priorities should always be the important things: career, family, friends and happiness. It’s fine to have your own thoughts, ideas and goals, just make sure to share your experiences with that person, even if it’s just talking about it and not actually experiencing it together.

The road to a spot called G: No one knows what makes you get the tingles better than yourself. Speak up if your significant other is completely clueless down there — just don’t be mean about it! Intimacy is a very important part of a relationship.  No one should ever have to overlook bad sex, so let him/her know what you like without directing. A “I’d like it if you…” may just do the trick.

Ex drama: No, hanging out with your ex is NOT okay. Anyone in their right mind should know it’s okay to stay on good terms with an ex, but a complete disrespect to bring ‘em around to your new partner. Even if there are no feelings involved anymore, bringing an ex around is simply a recipe for disaster. The rule applies to both people in a relationship.

Thou shall not covet your partner’s friends: While it’s normal and even healthy to have mutual friends, it’s absolutely necessary to create your own friendships. It’s never a good idea to forget your friends once you’ve found prince/princess charming. You’ll need them, believe me!

Friend days: They are a must. Not only do they make you miss your partner, but it allows you to expeince much needed “you” time. Whether it’s a movie, wine or gossips (or all those at once), girl nights keep a woman sane, in deed.

Don’t be a snoop: As much as you’d like to go through his text messages, don’t. Snooping is disrespectful and wrong. If you feel the need to snoop, the problem is actually yourself. Maybe you lack confidence, or perhaps there’s a lack of trust. If those are the issues, you need to talk to your partner instead of acting like a secret agent.

Never go to sleep angry at each other: It’s a rule! Resolve all your issues before bedtime, kiss and makeup. There’s no need for problems to roll over to the next morning. And if the problem is too complex to fix over night, find it in yourselves to put the issue aside for a minute for a quick “I love you.” No matter how mad you are, those three words should be unconditional.

Moving on: If you find that you’re better off without that person, know that breakups are not the end of the world. They allow for change and growth. They also are an opportunity to seek someone that suits your better. Remember to always upgrade, and never downgrade or settle for mediocrity.